First Time Mothers San Francisco Groups Are Launching! Bios of facilitators are available: www.supportgroupformothers.com/group_facilitators.htm Many new moms find it helpful to print this out and read during those many hours of feeding. This somewhat lengthy write-up will hopefully give you a sense of the Support Groups for Mothers, which I have offered for over 25 years, Before having my own children (Sasha 29 and Emma 25) I taught in a Community Mental Health Program at UC Berkeley and had been a Public Health Nurse in Boston. My own need for a support group led me to organize one and hire a facilitator. Since then, I have spun off over 600 First Time groups and also offer groups for mothers with older children and/or a new baby. Most first time mothers say that isolation is one of the big challenges of caring for a newborn. Also, there are a million questions and emotions that only another new mother is in a position to share. Even parents with older babies forget the intensity of the first few months. I think that you will find the experience of meeting with other mothers of babies under about 4 months of age to be a magical and fun experience. With a first baby, most woman are quite focused on preparing for the birth or adoption and it can be difficult to conceive of life with the baby. Once home with your baby, reread this letter and see if it appeals to you. Please call me as soon as you have delivered so that we can coordinate when you might like to try a first group. First time mothers groups are organized geographically . I organize the groups (which is one of the most challenging parts of my work) and facilitate discussion and support for eight meetings. During the last session, we do a significant amount of planning so that the group is ready to meet on its own. Most groups continue for many years for discussion, but also for playgroups, exchange babysitting and friendship for women, children and families. Some of my groups are meeting 22 years later. During the 6 weeks, we pretty predictably cover: All the nitty gritties of infant care and development (sleeping, crying, feeding, sickness, immunization, stimulation, etc.) Larger emotional issues including the total transformation of your lives and identity. We definitely talk about how to get anything else done, the surprises of how all consuming a baby can be and how mothers can get help and take care of their own needs as well as the baby's. Whether or not to return to work, child care/ baby-sitter needs or the impact of being a full time mom, and the feelings involved in these decisions and leaving a baby Relationships with partners, as well as grandparents or friends without children. Identity, body image,sexuality, maternal emotions Women usually begin between 2-3 weeks and 4-5 months postpartum. Many women wish they could come earlier, but on average begin at 4-8 weeks. Much depends on how one feels after delivery and on family visitors (hopefully caretakers, not visitors). Groups are organized geographically and by age of baby, but do not separate women by whether they are returning to work in the outer world or planning to be at home for a longer period of time. This is partly because people are changing their decisions rapidly in this area and partly because I think it makes sense to meet families who live near you for long term friendship. All groups welcome women with somewhat more unique situations such as adoptive moms, premature babies, single or lesbian moms, twins, etc. Most of the women tend to be in their 30's and frequently 40's, are swell educated. Often they have read widely and are quite confused by all the conflicting theories. It is ideal to sign up before the baby is born, but then please call me after your baby is born, especially if you deliver or adopt earlier than the due date. I will mail directions for a first meeting. At the end of the first meeting, if you are unsure about the 6 week commitment, I ask women to pay $35 and talk to me within one day. Women can certainly discontinue or try a different group. However I encourage women to try to remain open minded as most women feel quite disconnected from other adults while they are attuned to their babies and also very sleep deprived. Most women say it takes a few weeks to feel connected to women in the group. The total for the 6 weeks is now $199 which can be paid the first meeting, on installment or even months or years later. We can discuss the fee if money feels like the only barrier to joining a facilitated group. Though some mothers are able to organize friends informally, some of the values of a facilitated group include: An experienced facilitator and knowledgeable parent educator who keeps the group safe and accepting of a variety of parenting values and styles A variety of resources including ideas, articles/books and referrals Organization of the group which can be hard for new moms to accomplish Larger number (10-12 women) so broader range of experiences Financial commitment motivates women to attend and helps build a cohesive group. It is easy to stay home and become isolated as it can feel quite challenging to get out with the baby. Many women have been working in the outer world and want to create an expanded social life for themselves and their families. It is fun to care for a baby in the company of other women who are as fascinated by babies as you will be. The group provides intellectual stimulation, but in addition to the discussion time, groups organize regular outings and/or walks. Most groups organize social events with partners. Please spread the word about this group in your childbirth class or exercise class or to mothers on the street. Many mothers wish they could find a group and often do not know where to look. It is quite an accomplishment to get to the first meeting and is not to be underestimated. Many women join the group to help them structure their lives. The group is a safe place to practice feeding and handling crying in public. (and all babies cry!!!) One more note: my strongest philosophy is that there is no "right" way to parent. Each family is trying to figure out what works for their baby and themselves. No matter what you decide to do, someone will criticize you. My goal is to help you feel more confident in your choices and support you to enjoy and delight in your baby. Referrals for other needs during pregnancy, postpartum or adoption are always available. Other questions??? We can always talk by phone and I love email. Sherry Reinhardt, RN, MPH, MOM Support Services For Mothers PO Box 7151 Berkeley, CA 94707 510-868-2617 P.O. Box 6675 Albany, CA 94706 E-mail: Info@SupportGroupForMothers.com Copyright. All Rights Reserved.