"On Becoming a Family -
My New Mom's Support Group 1982"
Paulette Litz

Last Friday I was privileged to spend 24 hours with 7 kind, intelligent, caring women. I met these women 22 years ago in the first session of a "New Mom's Support Group" in Berkeley home of facilitator Sherry Reinhardt.

In alphabetical order, Elizabeth, Jules, Julia, Kirstie, Linda, Mari, and Michael have influenced my ability to parent, my sense of myself as a parent, and my joy in having other families to share this "wild and wonderful trip" of parenthood.

Sherry knew what she was doing. She understood families in their infancy. She understood the vulnerabilities of new mothers -even if the new mothers had held jobs of great responsibility. She knew how to facilitate a group so that each new mom would find her own way in a supportive, nurturing group. She allowed our best to surface. She helped us find laughter amidst the fears of caring for an infant. She gave us permission to care for ourselves when we were sleep deprived and unsure of how to do it all, all at once.

But all of Sherry's expertise could not have pulled off what this extraordinary group of women has pulled off. Each woman has brought a strength, an understanding, a spirit to the group that has combined to carry us into the next level of awareness. Carried into being comfortable with becoming a family. Becoming a mother. Becoming an over-50 woman. Being both allowed and appreciated to proceed with life as a personal adventure, and knowing that, just as each of our own paths is unique, so is the path of each of our children.

Some of us moved away-not too far. Some of us schooled our children at home. Some of us educated our children in private schools and others in public schools. There was a period of time in which several in the Berkeley area managed to continue to strengthen their friendship in a daily way. Yet somehow over the years, the core of respect and care remained constant for all of us.. When my husband died, the moms drove up to be with me and my family, arms filled food and flowers.

We re-convened as a group, four years ago, at an eagerly awaited. "Mom's Retreat to Sea Ranch". It was a weekend of reminiscing, pouring our eyes and hearts over photographs and videos of toddlers we all once knew and loved, and projecting forward those wide-gaited explorers into journalism and geology majors, music makers, producers, and recorders, and teachers. As our children leave their adolescence and truly anchor themselves in their own adulthood, we breathe a sigh of relief, thanking god that they have not only survived their teenage years but also are unfolding into their own experience-based wisdom, peace, and joy.

Child growth and development has been studied in this course, but growth and development is alive within my Mom's Group. I can't wait to see what is in store for us all in the next chapter of this book of life. I am truly amazed and grateful for the honor of writing these stories with these extraordinary women. They have helped me learn to live my life as a parent, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.

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